








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 363 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4345 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,113 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3668 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3360 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3930 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3155 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $823,997 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuugi | 60% | 47 |
| #2 | i'm cheater | 55% | 206 |
| #3 | kaala | 54% | 273 |
| #4 | S4muel | 52% | 161 |
| #5 | убить себя | 52% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jojoshop.com | 85 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | kaala | 39 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | i'm cheater | 31 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | 76561199191892855 | 26 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | убить себя | 18 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaala | 1225 | 0.22 | 24 min |
| #2 | jojoshop.com | 584 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #3 | i'm cheater | 447 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | S4muel | 362 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #5 | nuugi | 167 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuugi | +6.75 | 61 | 70 |
| #2 | kaala | +2.42 | 77 | 60 |
| #3 | jojoshop.com | +1.79 | 83 | 52 |
| #4 | suomivihu paska vihu | +1.53 | 63 | 60 |
| #5 | i'm cheater | +0.51 | 78 | 68 |





