








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 257 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3089 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,075 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4231 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3298 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2203 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1343 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $289,848 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuugi | 69% | 42 |
| #2 | убить себя | 64% | 85 |
| #3 | i'm cheater | 60% | 133 |
| #4 | jojoshop.com | 55% | 225 |
| #5 | suomivihu paska vihu | 54% | 273 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jojoshop.com | 70 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | suomivihu paska vihu | 26 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | i'm cheater | 15 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | убить себя | 10 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | S4muel | 8 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jojoshop.com | 510 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #2 | suomivihu paska vihu | 393 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | S4muel | 323 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | i'm cheater | 252 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | nuugi | 149 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuugi | +6.91 | 63 | 75 |
| #2 | kaala | +2.39 | 77 | 60 |
| #3 | jojoshop.com | +1.48 | 81 | 52 |
| #4 | suomivihu paska vihu | +0.91 | 60 | 61 |
| #5 | i'm cheater | +0.45 | 77 | 69 |





