








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1681 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,935 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 766 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1094 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1272 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 803 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $502,514 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alvalminko21 | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | groggy~ | 65% | 69 |
| #3 | dj baby icy yeti | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | Miika | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | Jix | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | groggy~ | 65% | 69 |
| #3 | dj baby icy yeti | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | Miika | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | Jix | 42% | 19 |
| #6 | Ahmed Brown | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dj baby icy yeti | 6 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | Jix | 5 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | Miika | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | groggy~ | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | alvalminko21 | 1 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | groggy~ | 119 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | dj baby icy yeti | 97 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | Miika | 65 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Jix | 21 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Ahmed Brown | 10 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | groggy~ | +1.47 | 73 | 61 |
| #2 | Alvin | +0.65 | 67 | 45 |
| #3 | dj baby icy yeti | +0.57 | 56 | 55 |
| #4 | Miika | -0.67 | 62 | 33 |
| #5 | Ahmed Brown | -0.75 | 52 | 41 |





