








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 506 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1286 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,412 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 701 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1054 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 855 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 802 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $835,406 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 223 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buckis | 46% | 24 |
| #2 | negative | 44% | 63 |
| #3 | Blekaitis | 42% | 146 |
| #4 | Kaunas | 41% | 95 |
| #5 | DmT | 38% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PANEMUNES LENCIUGAS | 8 | 0.0212 |
| #2 | Blekaitis | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Kaunas | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | negative | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Jonas Kiauliena | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blekaitis | 495 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | Kaunas | 174 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | negative | 165 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jonas Kiauliena | 140 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | buckis | 77 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blekaitis | +3.12 | 57 | 69 |
| #2 | negative | +0.55 | 68 | 55 |
| #3 | buckis | +0.47 | 60 | 54 |
| #4 | Kaunas | -0.33 | 55 | 41 |
| #5 | DmT | -1.18 | 35 | 29 |





