








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1464 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,447 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 965 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1301 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1418 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 763 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $260,270 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GOATMOO | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Cardinal | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | KrylliKs | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | Fox | 37% | 46 |
| #5 | yofaus | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GOATMOO | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Cardinal | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | KrylliKs | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | Fox | 37% | 46 |
| #5 | yofaus | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cardinal | 6 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Fox | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | GOATMOO | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | KrylliKs | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | yofaus | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fox | 60 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | GOATMOO | 59 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | KrylliKs | 55 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Cardinal | 36 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | yofaus | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GOATMOO | +5.30 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | Cardinal | +4.86 | 84 | 63 |
| #3 | yofaus | +2.19 | 67 | 45 |
| #4 | billmeister | -0.54 | 45 | 42 |
| #5 | KrylliKs | -0.75 | 19 | 66 |





