








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 650 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5816 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,555 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4224 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5284 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2625 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4422 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,046,876 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arthizzzle | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | billmeister | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | Cardinal | 56% | 392 |
| #4 | yofaus | 56% | 102 |
| #5 | KrylliKs | 56% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Cardinal | 56% | 392 |
| #4 | yofaus | 56% | 102 |
| #5 | KrylliKs | 56% | 153 |
| #6 | Fox | 55% | 300 |
| #7 | GammaS | 50% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cardinal | 49 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | yofaus | 11 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Fox | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | KrylliKs | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | GammaS | 9 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cardinal | 372 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #2 | Fox | 283 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #3 | KrylliKs | 269 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | GammaS | 221 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | yofaus | 84 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GOATMOO | +3.48 | 83 | 65 |
| #2 | Cardinal | +2.89 | 79 | 51 |
| #3 | Arthizzzle | +2.03 | 84 | 50 |
| #4 | yofaus | +1.04 | 62 | 46 |
| #5 | KrylliKs | -2.04 | 27 | 60 |





