








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1263 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1356 | 35% |
| Smokes | 852 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 979 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 638 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $405,237 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 685 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MosMald | 43% | 61 |
| #2 | The 5th Tiger Crunch | 32% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MosMald | 43% | 61 |
| #2 | The 5th Tiger Crunch | 32% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The 5th Tiger Crunch | 8 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | MosMald | 7 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MosMald | 159 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | The 5th Tiger Crunch | 60 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MosMald | +0.90 | 34 | 56 |
| #2 | The 5th Tiger Crunch | +0.15 | 35 | 41 |
| #3 | the_worst_awp DROP.SKIN | -1.58 | 71 | 56 |





