










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,316 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6422 | 48% |
| Smokes | 2984 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1992 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1918 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,629,500 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 985 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moe Lester | 50% | 96 |
| #2 | Don't Be Mad | 46% | 138 |
| #3 | Blank | 45% | 97 |
| #4 | Dr.Ace | 44% | 180 |
| #5 | Torta Pounder | 41% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moe Lester | 50% | 96 |
| #2 | Don't Be Mad | 46% | 138 |
| #3 | Blank | 45% | 97 |
| #4 | Dr.Ace | 44% | 180 |
| #5 | Torta Pounder | 41% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr.Ace | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Torta Pounder | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Moe Lester | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Don't Be Mad | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Blank | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don't Be Mad | 533 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | Dr.Ace | 483 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | Torta Pounder | 421 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #4 | Moe Lester | 346 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | Blank | 205 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr.Ace | +2.16 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | Torta Pounder | +0.28 | 59 | 61 |
| #3 | Moe Lester | -0.27 | 56 | 61 |
| #4 | Don't Be Mad | -0.90 | 63 | 59 |
| #5 | Sneaky Peaky Like | -1.09 | 60 | 58 |





