










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 384 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1432 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1058 | 29% |
| Smokes | 823 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1066 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 759 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $610,759 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 303 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ilkkuPvP | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Remo | 44% | 73 |
| #3 | big yoshi | 35% | 20 |
| #4 | Modest Mikhail | 31% | 13 |
| #5 | -Djkana | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ilkkuPvP | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Remo | 44% | 73 |
| #3 | big yoshi | 35% | 20 |
| #4 | Modest Mikhail | 31% | 13 |
| #5 | -Djkana | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Remo | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | ilkkuPvP | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Remo | 181 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | big yoshi | 87 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | ilkkuPvP | 79 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | -Djkana | 12 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Modest Mikhail | 10 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ilkkuPvP | +1.33 | 67 | 61 |
| #2 | Anatoly | +0.92 | 80 | 51 |
| #3 | big yoshi | -0.09 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | Remo | -0.26 | 71 | 52 |
| #5 | Modest Mikhail | -0.84 | 52 | 39 |





