








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1576 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,288 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1451 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1640 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1152 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1045 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $289,981 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ATLAS | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Panda 凸ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ凸 | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | matu | 56% | 113 |
| #4 | dzhei | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | Milkyu^ | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ATLAS | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Panda 凸ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ凸 | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | matu | 56% | 113 |
| #4 | dzhei | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | Milkyu^ | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ATLAS | 7 | 0.0156 |
| #2 | matu | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Panda 凸ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ凸 | 2 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matu | 322 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | Milkyu^ | 78 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | Panda 凸ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ凸 | 25 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | dzhei | 21 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | ATLAS | 17 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | san4es | +1.13 | 72 | 60 |
| #2 | Milkyu^ | +0.18 | 69 | 72 |
| #3 | Panda 凸ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ凸 | -0.68 | 58 | 71 |
| #4 | ATLAS | -0.84 | 66 | 36 |
| #5 | matu | -0.90 | 64 | 69 |





