








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1169 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,898 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 461 | 24% |
| Smokes | 352 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 592 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 493 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $472,832 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Markee_z | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | Sm0och_ | 100% | 6 |
| #3 | TRChser | 100% | 6 |
| #4 | !25 | 100% | 6 |
| #5 | EmBee | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | NagEd | 50% | 14 |
| #9 | san4es | 50% | 20 |
| #10 | FORWARd | 50% | 34 |
| #11 | matu | 49% | 81 |
| #12 | Milkyu^ | 48% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matu | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Panda 凸ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ凸 | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | ATLAS | 3 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Milkyu^ | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | FORWARd | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matu | 231 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Milkyu^ | 220 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #3 | FORWARd | 90 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Panda 凸ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ凸 | 80 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | san4es | 75 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EmBee | +3.97 | 68 | 71 |
| #2 | TRChser | +2.87 | 87 | 67 |
| #3 | Markee_z | +2.55 | 84 | 79 |
| #4 | san4es | +2.21 | 65 | 64 |
| #5 | FORWARd | +2.16 | 75 | 62 |





