








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2445 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,572 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4335 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3651 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2998 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2588 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $534,853 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -GOD|EATER- | 56% | 95 |
| #2 | Mealz | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | ✪ MOIST | 45% | 49 |
| #4 | PorkChops | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -GOD|EATER- | 56% | 95 |
| #2 | Mealz | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | ✪ MOIST | 45% | 49 |
| #4 | PorkChops | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mealz | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | ✪ MOIST | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | -GOD|EATER- | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mealz | 156 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | ✪ MOIST | 149 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | -GOD|EATER- | 136 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | PorkChops | 63 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mealz | +2.58 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | PorkChops | +1.27 | 78 | 66 |
| #3 | -GOD|EATER- | +1.16 | 69 | 68 |
| #4 | ✪ MOIST | +0.59 | 78 | 59 |
| #5 | ja. | +0.52 | 59 | 74 |





