








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 388 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5384 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3667 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3490 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4255 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $852,906 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 928 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stalieris | 61% | 149 |
| #2 | Kitņiks | 55% | 67 |
| #3 | Shaqtar | 53% | 202 |
| #4 | Semir Gerkhan | 53% | 68 |
| #5 | Kodiak Bear | 52% | 247 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kodiak Bear | 46 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | zaibal | 16 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Stalieris | 12 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Shaqtar | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Semir Gerkhan | 9 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shaqtar | 788 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #2 | Kodiak Bear | 611 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #3 | Stalieris | 344 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | Kitņiks | 212 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | Semir Gerkhan | 115 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IR | +3.39 | 80 | 58 |
| #2 | Kitņiks | +3.00 | 75 | 67 |
| #3 | Stalieris | +2.26 | 64 | 64 |
| #4 | Shaqtar | -0.01 | 56 | 65 |
| #5 | Boberc | -0.33 | 66 | 52 |





