








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 408 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 42 matches | 2,449 | |
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1253 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,602 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 890 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1070 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 726 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 916 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $303,781 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | king | 57% | 28 |
| #13 | Rackeroh | 57% | 30 |
| #14 | 六 yunngravy | 53% | 15 |
| #15 | P1ke Burgir | 53% | 30 |
| #16 | addi #looking2play | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 六 yunngravy | 6 | 0.0184 |
| #2 | Rackeroh | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | SnusMumrik | 2 | 0.0174 |
| #4 | P1ke Burgir | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | king | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P1ke Burgir | 184 | 0.31 | 6 min |
| #2 | king | 157 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #3 | San | 103 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | Rackeroh | 70 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | 六 yunngravy | 57 | 0.17 | 1 min |





