








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 717 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,884 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9518 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8199 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7416 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7751 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,392,341 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1001 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ | 87% | 139 |
| #2 | 『 ShoTGuN 』 | 84% | 81 |
| #3 | Monkey D. Poopy | 80% | 111 |
| #4 | Xenon | 78% | 87 |
| #5 | G͏r͏u͏d͏g͏e | 78% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ | +3.72 | 66 | 72 |
| #2 | Monkey D. Poopy | +3.17 | 88 | 41 |
| #3 | G͏r͏u͏d͏g͏e | +3.13 | 80 | 71 |
| #4 | -eLeveNNNN | +2.96 | 76 | 63 |
| #5 | clashy | +2.93 | 83 | 59 |





