








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 743 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 866 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10395 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,906 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4456 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5776 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5824 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6850 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,844,590 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 444 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | AshX | 78% | 87 |
| #5 | Monkey D. Poopy | 73% | 618 |
| #6 | Jaggerrrr | 69% | 87 |
| #7 | Rhymer | 65% | 72 |
| #8 | aKKi | 60% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monkey D. Poopy | +3.66 | 90 | 42 |
| #2 | Xenon | +2.23 | 77 | 59 |
| #3 | 『 ShoTGuN 』 | +1.91 | 80 | 57 |
| #4 | -M- | +1.03 | 75 | 61 |
| #5 | Jaggerrrr | +0.37 | 73 | 46 |





