








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
848 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 572 | 36% |
| Smokes | 378 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 350 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 284 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $294,104 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IceColdWolf | 50% | 32 |
| #2 | shmong | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | Aynguish | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | [Oh] Teebs | 42% | 62 |
| #5 | Kuriosity | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IceColdWolf | 50% | 32 |
| #2 | shmong | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | Aynguish | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | [Oh] Teebs | 42% | 62 |
| #5 | Kuriosity | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Oh] Teebs | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Kuriosity | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | IceColdWolf | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Aynguish | 1 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Oh] Teebs | 145 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | IceColdWolf | 66 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | shmong | 37 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Aynguish | 14 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Kuriosity | 3 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhillyFreak83 | +2.98 | 77 | 47 |
| #2 | IceColdWolf | +2.08 | 58 | 52 |
| #3 | Kuriosity | +0.70 | 87 | 16 |
| #4 | shmong | +0.13 | 62 | 73 |
| #5 | Aynguish | -1.05 | 51 | 47 |





