








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
646 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,384 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 405 | 29% |
| Smokes | 294 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 267 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 418 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $159,278 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhillyFreak83 | 50% | 32 |
| #2 | Kuriosity | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | shmong | 46% | 26 |
| #4 | Aynguish | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | [Oh] Teebs | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhillyFreak83 | 50% | 32 |
| #2 | Kuriosity | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | shmong | 46% | 26 |
| #4 | Aynguish | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | [Oh] Teebs | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhillyFreak83 | 6 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | [Oh] Teebs | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Kuriosity | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Aynguish | 1 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Oh] Teebs | 81 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | PhillyFreak83 | 74 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | shmong | 69 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Aynguish | 14 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Kuriosity | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shmong | +2.16 | 74 | 67 |
| #2 | PhillyFreak83 | +1.56 | 75 | 44 |
| #3 | IceColdWolf | +0.71 | 56 | 52 |
| #4 | Kuriosity | -0.17 | 86 | 20 |
| #5 | Aynguish | -1.05 | 51 | 47 |





