








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 162 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
923 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,013 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1066 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1305 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 563 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1079 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $235,654 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edi | 47% | 76 |
| #2 | Loota | 45% | 31 |
| #3 | f4lse | 29% | 7 |
| #4 | Cleveland .Jr | 29% | 7 |
| #5 | loota2k | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edi | 47% | 76 |
| #2 | Loota | 45% | 31 |
| #3 | f4lse | 29% | 7 |
| #4 | Cleveland .Jr | 29% | 7 |
| #5 | loota2k | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edi | 16 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | Loota | 14 | 0.0255 |
| #3 | loota2k | 14 | 0.0532 |
| #4 | Cleveland .Jr | 2 | 0.0141 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edi | 337 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | Loota | 54 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | loota2k | 36 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Cleveland .Jr | 25 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | f4lse | 13 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JOHKU | +2.35 | 70 | 60 |
| #2 | Loota | +1.98 | 55 | 50 |
| #3 | loota2k | +1.05 | 50 | 44 |
| #4 | f4lse | -0.36 | 42 | 50 |
| #5 | Edi | -2.55 | 42 | 59 |





