








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Faceit | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2534 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3108 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3133 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3013 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2702 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $691,224 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 250 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Axel Raxel | 29 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | The Grumbler | 18 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Shabby | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | ONExTWIN | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Axel Raxel | +1.54 | 46 | 59 |
| #2 | Shabby | +1.37 | 72 | 62 |
| #3 | The Grumbler | +0.72 | 67 | 55 |
| #4 | Midget Fucker | -0.45 | 43 | 54 |
| #5 | ONExTWIN | -1.43 | 59 | 58 |





