








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 241 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 254 matches | ||
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5612 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3102 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6607 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 5055 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1226 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,525,257 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 582 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Axel Raxel | 24 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | The Grumbler | 20 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | ONExTWIN | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Midget Fucker | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | TWINxTWO | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Grumbler | 904 | 0.11 | 21 min |
| #2 | Axel Raxel | 846 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #3 | Midget Fucker | 469 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | ONExTWIN | 342 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #5 | TWINxTWO | 270 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shabby | +1.77 | 72 | 62 |
| #2 | Axel Raxel | +1.21 | 48 | 53 |
| #3 | The Grumbler | +0.36 | 64 | 55 |
| #4 | ONExTWIN | -0.33 | 62 | 60 |
| #5 | Panda | -0.41 | 47 | 56 |





