








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 336 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2365 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1872 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3264 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3341 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4423 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,464,500 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 217 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NihiiiilBaXxter | 50% | 20 |
| #2 | Boltek | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | corFex | 50% | 48 |
| #4 | SirLunchALot | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | 𝓛𝓐𝓡𝓡𝓨 ② 𝓚 | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | SirLunchALot | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | 𝓛𝓐𝓡𝓡𝓨 ② 𝓚 | 48% | 21 |
| #6 | der Hesse | 46% | 90 |
| #7 | face | 45% | 53 |
| #8 | face | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | corFex | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | face | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Boltek | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | 𝓛𝓐𝓡𝓡𝓨 ② 𝓚 | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | face | 106 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | corFex | 101 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | der Hesse | 70 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | NihiiiilBaXxter | 56 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | face | 53 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓛𝓐𝓡𝓡𝓨 ② 𝓚 | +2.23 | 75 | 33 |
| #2 | SirLunchALot | +0.35 | 47 | 65 |
| #3 | face | +0.17 | 39 | 70 |
| #4 | Boltek | +0.01 | 23 | 71 |
| #5 | corFex | -0.21 | 53 | 59 |





