








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 319 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3979 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,238 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2020 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3733 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2363 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2122 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,139,738 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rick | 58% | 38 |
| #2 | Lag | 48% | 298 |
| #3 | ChrispyCloud | 43% | 56 |
| #4 | CertifiedPapi | 38% | 77 |
| #5 | Hash. | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rick | 58% | 38 |
| #2 | Lag | 48% | 298 |
| #3 | ChrispyCloud | 43% | 56 |
| #4 | CertifiedPapi | 38% | 77 |
| #5 | Hash. | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lag | 40 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | ChrispyCloud | 8 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | CertifiedPapi | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Rick | 4 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lag | 819 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | CertifiedPapi | 192 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | ChrispyCloud | 119 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Rick | 55 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hash. | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lag | +1.41 | 53 | 61 |
| #2 | Eagle | -0.30 | 64 | 52 |
| #3 | Rick | -0.64 | 30 | 50 |
| #4 | CertifiedPapi | -0.93 | 46 | 57 |
| #5 | ChrispyCloud | -3.06 | 32 | 31 |





