










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,324 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 484 | 37% |
| Smokes | 327 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 239 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 274 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $125,518 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | eMbo | 67% | 3 |
| #12 | DrjΓ³li | 67% | 3 |
| #13 | Siggi Nappari | 60% | 15 |
| #14 | Luffy^- Skyjaskokkari | 50% | 2 |
| #15 | bthor38 | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z4n3 | 40 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | Siggi Nappari | 34 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #3 | bthor38 | 29 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #4 | Indestructible | 18 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| #5 | Player1 | 12 | 0.28 | 0 min |





