








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3328 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,592 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2598 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1447 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 354 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 2193 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $758,481 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 390 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ladiesman217 | 57% | 80 |
| #4 | SilverValley | 55% | 113 |
| #5 | JunkyNinja™ | 49% | 140 |
| #6 | .s1lent | 48% | 75 |
| #7 | PegaSus | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SilverValley | 26 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | .s1lent | 11 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | JunkyNinja™ | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Ladiesman217 | 9 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Resets | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SilverValley | 333 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | JunkyNinja™ | 313 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | .s1lent | 250 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | Ladiesman217 | 172 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Resets | 42 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Resets | +6.14 | 92 | 33 |
| #2 | PegaSus | +1.82 | 81 | 34 |
| #3 | ares- | +0.72 | 72 | 52 |
| #4 | Ladiesman217 | +0.53 | 68 | 55 |
| #5 | JunkyNinja™ | +0.18 | 64 | 68 |





