








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
251 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 73 | 22% |
| Smokes | 61 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 146 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 56 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $78,943 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeuhBaR | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | kuroshinia | 75% | 28 |
| #3 | Algoren | 68% | 19 |
| #4 | TESTICULE EN PUTRÉFACTIONS | 68% | 25 |
| #5 | GODE DE CHAIR | 68% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GODE DE CHAIR | 7 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | TESTICULE EN PUTRÉFACTIONS | 6 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | kuroshinia | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Algoren | 2 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TESTICULE EN PUTRÉFACTIONS | 82 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | GODE DE CHAIR | 54 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | kuroshinia | 12 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | Algoren | 11 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | BeuhBaR | 3 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeuhBaR | +11.57 | 76 | 57 |
| #2 | kuroshinia | +3.03 | 56 | 40 |
| #3 | TESTICULE EN PUTRÉFACTIONS | +2.45 | 55 | 45 |
| #4 | GODE DE CHAIR | +0.58 | 53 | 43 |
| #5 | Miyuukieuh | -0.88 | 64 | 18 |





