








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2104 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,865 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1480 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1684 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1170 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1531 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $455,731 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spr4ay | 80% | 109 |
| #2 | chelsea | 77% | 180 |
| #3 | Stefu | 72% | 25 |
| #4 | comboman | 72% | 60 |
| #5 | sumi | 64% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spr4ay | 80% | 109 |
| #2 | chelsea | 77% | 180 |
| #3 | Stefu | 72% | 25 |
| #4 | comboman | 72% | 60 |
| #5 | sumi | 64% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chelsea | 45 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | spr4ay | 37 | 0.0182 |
| #3 | comboman | 9 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | sumi | 4 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | Stefu | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chelsea | 589 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | spr4ay | 357 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | comboman | 154 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | sumi | 106 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | Stefu | 58 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spr4ay | +5.11 | 88 | 53 |
| #2 | stimer | +4.02 | 71 | 56 |
| #3 | chelsea | +2.71 | 89 | 60 |
| #4 | Stefu | +1.71 | 80 | 50 |
| #5 | comboman | +1.47 | 83 | 58 |





