










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1392 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1486 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1382 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 640 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $372,063 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MonicaLewinsky | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Scooby Jew | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Chip Diamond | 50% | 130 |
| #4 | DangerDave | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | i munch box | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Chip Diamond | 50% | 130 |
| #4 | DangerDave | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | i munch box | 44% | 25 |
| #6 | Rey Mysterio | 35% | 17 |
| #7 | Big Rex Tha Plug | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chip Diamond | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | MonicaLewinsky | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Rey Mysterio | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Scooby Jew | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Big Rex Tha Plug | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chip Diamond | 171 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | i munch box | 70 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | MonicaLewinsky | 40 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Rey Mysterio | 26 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Big Rex Tha Plug | 11 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don't Ask/Don't Tell | +1.18 | 59 | 58 |
| #2 | Chip Diamond | +0.51 | 21 | 46 |
| #3 | Scooby Jew | +0.36 | 48 | 29 |
| #4 | i munch box | +0.21 | 29 | 51 |
| #5 | Big Rex Tha Plug | -1.57 | 12 | 21 |





