








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
517 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,385 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 387 | 28% |
| Smokes | 412 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 327 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 259 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $92,488 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KimIlSung™ | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | ✪ Sorry | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Snickeeeers | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | ScreaM | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | bård | 56% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RoadMan B | 25 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #2 | Scapyr | 25 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | ScreaM | 23 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | bård | 15 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Snickeeeers | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Sorry | +5.10 | 94 | 46 |
| #2 | bård | +4.70 | 90 | 45 |
| #3 | Rafael | +2.60 | 87 | 58 |
| #4 | ScreaM | +2.28 | 77 | 59 |
| #5 | Scapyr | +1.18 | 64 | 63 |





