








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2552 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,037 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2255 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2541 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2064 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2177 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,051,420 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 216 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kobajacK | 50% | 90 |
| #2 | Slumpazzz | 49% | 146 |
| #3 | Law ββΈ | 47% | 49 |
| #4 | BΓΌll_1999 | 46% | 196 |
| #5 | β π³πππππππ
ππβ β | 46% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kobajacK | 50% | 90 |
| #2 | Slumpazzz | 49% | 146 |
| #3 | Law ββΈ | 47% | 49 |
| #4 | BΓΌll_1999 | 46% | 196 |
| #5 | β π³πππππππ
ππβ β | 46% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slumpazzz | 15 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | kobajacK | 12 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | BΓΌll_1999 | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | β π³πππππππ
ππβ β | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Law ββΈ | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BΓΌll_1999 | 670 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | kobajacK | 513 | 0.27 | 17 min |
| #3 | Slumpazzz | 473 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | β π³πππππππ
ππβ β | 444 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #5 | Law ββΈ | 169 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kobajacK | +2.49 | 49 | 71 |
| #2 | Law ββΈ | +1.36 | 44 | 59 |
| #3 | Slumpazzz | +0.78 | 64 | 62 |
| #4 | BΓΌll_1999 | -0.21 | 41 | 70 |
| #5 | Elpz | -0.34 | 58 | 59 |





