








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 173 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1582 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2063 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1358 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2092 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1283 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $706,905 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kobajacK | 50% | 113 |
| #2 | BΓΌll_1999 | 50% | 156 |
| #3 | β π³πππππππ
ππβ β | 50% | 105 |
| #4 | Elpz | 49% | 146 |
| #5 | Law ββΈ | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kobajacK | 50% | 113 |
| #2 | BΓΌll_1999 | 50% | 156 |
| #3 | β π³πππππππ
ππβ β | 50% | 105 |
| #4 | Elpz | 49% | 146 |
| #5 | Law ββΈ | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elpz | 17 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | kobajacK | 15 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | BΓΌll_1999 | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | β π³πππππππ
ππβ β | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Law ββΈ | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kobajacK | 635 | 0.27 | 20 min |
| #2 | BΓΌll_1999 | 567 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | Elpz | 554 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #4 | β π³πππππππ
ππβ β | 425 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #5 | Law ββΈ | 52 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kobajacK | +2.50 | 50 | 69 |
| #2 | Slumpazzz | +0.49 | 64 | 63 |
| #3 | Law ββΈ | +0.10 | 41 | 53 |
| #4 | β π³πππππππ
ππβ β | -0.27 | 68 | 68 |
| #5 | BΓΌll_1999 | -0.43 | 39 | 68 |





