








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
865 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,771 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 332 | 19% |
| Smokes | 595 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 412 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 432 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $110,523 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Little_Wanng | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | Saito | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | will | 46% | 56 |
| #4 | SlowLoadSpeed | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | 她说免费都轮不到我 | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | will | 46% | 56 |
| #4 | SlowLoadSpeed | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | 她说免费都轮不到我 | 44% | 16 |
| #6 | Synthwavf | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | REM秋鱼 | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 她说免费都轮不到我 | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | will | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Little_Wanng | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | will | 88 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | Little_Wanng | 68 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | SlowLoadSpeed | 24 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | Synthwavf | 24 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | 她说免费都轮不到我 | 18 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | will | +2.14 | 67 | 53 |
| #2 | 她说免费都轮不到我 | +1.18 | 71 | 52 |
| #3 | 民工哥 | +1.07 | 64 | 40 |
| #4 | Little_Wanng | -0.03 | 68 | 41 |
| #5 | Saito | -0.69 | 81 | 53 |





