








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 302 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4994 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7485 | 38% |
| Smokes | 5173 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2508 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 4682 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $646,783 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bot Teban | 67% | 42 |
| #2 | Crimson- | 60% | 146 |
| #3 | FLICK | 59% | 376 |
| #4 | Kepler | 58% | 377 |
| #5 | MaqanaKuq | 57% | 221 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FLICK | 18 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | MaqanaKuq | 17 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | t3x | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Crimson- | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Kepler | 8 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kepler | 1900 | 0.24 | 46 min |
| #2 | FLICK | 1254 | 0.16 | 29 min |
| #3 | Crimson- | 778 | 0.25 | 20 min |
| #4 | t3x | 489 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | MaqanaKuq | 435 | 0.10 | 10 min |





