








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 562 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1399 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2005 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2399 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1905 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1890 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $612,536 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shin <3 | 56% | 68 |
| #2 | Dr. Ake | 47% | 19 |
| #3 | moccamika | 46% | 76 |
| #4 | THE PUNISHER | 44% | 32 |
| #5 | AJ | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | TeD | 39% | 101 |
| #9 | Bodom | 37% | 41 |
| #10 | ✧ Beni ✧ | 29% | 14 |
| #11 | M arkku-_- | 26% | 34 |
| #12 | JormaErä | 19% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kottarainen | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | M arkku-_- | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | THE PUNISHER | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | TeD | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | moccamika | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kottarainen | 257 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | TeD | 203 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Juhis <3 | 199 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Shin <3 | 179 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | moccamika | 130 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TeD | +2.69 | 84 | 59 |
| #2 | moccamika | +2.22 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | Kottarainen | +1.34 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | Dr. Ake | +0.87 | 67 | 51 |
| #5 | AJ | +0.85 | 77 | 42 |





