








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 307 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1724 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,480 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1249 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1566 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1421 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1244 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $838,098 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vauhti | 56% | 68 |
| #2 | Bodom | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Juhis <3 | 50% | 88 |
| #4 | Kottarainen | 49% | 128 |
| #5 | TeD | 48% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | TeD | 48% | 100 |
| #6 | moccamika | 48% | 103 |
| #7 | THE PUNISHER | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | AJ | 44% | 16 |
| #9 | danger | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moccamika | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Kottarainen | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | TeD | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Juhis <3 | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | danger | 2 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kottarainen | 428 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | vauhti | 193 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | TeD | 187 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | moccamika | 144 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Juhis <3 | 132 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TeD | +2.28 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | moccamika | +1.30 | 65 | 58 |
| #3 | Juhis <3 | +0.05 | 73 | 57 |
| #4 | Kottarainen | -0.21 | 62 | 64 |
| #5 | Shin <3 | -0.34 | 54 | 62 |





