








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1383 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1015 | 28% |
| Smokes | 886 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 771 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 987 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $356,739 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | algernon | 46% | 39 |
| #2 | Piszke | 46% | 102 |
| #3 | Edy André | 45% | 73 |
| #4 | Lacigány | 45% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | algernon | 46% | 39 |
| #2 | Piszke | 46% | 102 |
| #3 | Edy André | 45% | 73 |
| #4 | Lacigány | 45% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lacigány | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Piszke | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Edy André | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | algernon | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piszke | 268 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Lacigány | 152 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Edy André | 103 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | algernon | 46 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piszke | +1.51 | 72 | 63 |
| #2 | Kry 唄ニホ | +1.45 | 71 | 61 |
| #3 | Lacigány | +0.08 | 65 | 55 |
| #4 | algernon | -1.61 | 51 | 47 |
| #5 | Edy André | -3.00 | 53 | 52 |





