








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
703 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,057 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 478 | 16% |
| Smokes | 935 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1009 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 635 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $250,024 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lacigány | 45% | 66 |
| #2 | Piszke | 45% | 99 |
| #3 | Kry 唄ニホ | 45% | 73 |
| #4 | algernon | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lacigány | 45% | 66 |
| #2 | Piszke | 45% | 99 |
| #3 | Kry 唄ニホ | 45% | 73 |
| #4 | algernon | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piszke | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Kry 唄ニホ | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Lacigány | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | algernon | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piszke | 243 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Kry 唄ニホ | 174 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Lacigány | 120 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | algernon | 36 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kry 唄ニホ | +1.47 | 70 | 60 |
| #2 | Piszke | +1.31 | 71 | 61 |
| #3 | Lacigány | -0.53 | 62 | 53 |
| #4 | algernon | -0.84 | 55 | 46 |
| #5 | Edy André | -2.80 | 52 | 53 |





