








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,464 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 873 | 25% |
| Smokes | 532 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 923 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1136 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $683,589 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M!nHo™ | 50% | 18 |
| #2 | Dixie Rekt | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | Asalo | 44% | 16 |
| #4 | Goose | 43% | 115 |
| #5 | Stylish | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Dixie Rekt | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | Asalo | 44% | 16 |
| #4 | Goose | 43% | 115 |
| #5 | Stylish | 42% | 12 |
| #6 | AscenD | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goose | 14 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | AscenD | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Asalo | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goose | 377 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | Asalo | 61 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | AscenD | 36 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | M!nHo™ | 36 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Stylish | 12 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asalo | +5.32 | 71 | 77 |
| #2 | Goose | +3.59 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | Stylish | +1.30 | 56 | 52 |
| #4 | Isolate | +0.50 | 63 | 41 |
| #5 | Dixie Rekt | -0.84 | 33 | 31 |





