








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 118 matches | ||
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 176 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2764 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,854 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1815 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2953 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1994 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3092 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,587,982 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | televator | 20 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | vator | 8 | 0.0161 |
| #3 | bhrek | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Ault | 6 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | Ares | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | televator | 927 | 0.26 | 30 min |
| #2 | vator | 157 | 0.32 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ault | 145 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ares | 135 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | nutsuppiler | 61 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vator | +5.84 | 80 | 80 |
| #2 | Ault | +4.45 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | televator | +3.65 | 84 | 76 |
| #4 | Ares | +0.17 | 80 | 56 |
| #5 | Dripless690 | -0.52 | 52 | 56 |





