








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 454 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1341 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,690 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 514 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1368 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 893 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 915 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,052,949 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cLip | 59% | 51 |
| #2 | ♤ S@K@ ♡ | 56% | 62 |
| #3 | Pandorawilll | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | BMF | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | bone | 53% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hrvoica | 8 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | ♤ S@K@ ♡ | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | L1vAndr0X | 6 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | DZONI | 5 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | cLip | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cLip | 164 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | AJANI | 146 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | ♤ S@K@ ♡ | 118 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | hrvoica | 98 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | bone | 79 | 0.11 | 2 min |





