








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 487 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3027 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1708 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2207 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1746 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,650,239 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killx | 56% | 62 |
| #2 | Dirty Sancez | 55% | 67 |
| #3 | AJANI | 50% | 256 |
| #4 | bone | 48% | 129 |
| #5 | cLip | 47% | 278 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cLip | 20 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Pandorawilll | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | AJANI | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | bone | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Bad*MF | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cLip | 918 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #2 | AJANI | 478 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | bone | 288 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Pandorawilll | 170 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Bad*MF | 148 | 0.10 | 4 min |





