








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
798 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,099 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 815 | 26% |
| Smokes | 908 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 629 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 747 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $756,213 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | asuka^ | 47% | 15 |
| #6 | asuka^^^ | 46% | 41 |
| #7 | Biggie Juke | 44% | 45 |
| #8 | LixFell | 40% | 62 |
| #9 | SweMom | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r1chx | 18 | 0.0151 |
| #2 | asuka^^^ | 12 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | Biggie Juke | 11 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | SweMom | 6 | 0.0151 |
| #5 | Mr.Cock | 4 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r1chx | 248 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | Biggie Juke | 185 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | asuka^^^ | 173 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | LixFell | 139 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mr.Cock | 134 | 0.21 | 4 min |





