








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
839 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,983 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 828 | 28% |
| Smokes | 774 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 577 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 804 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $132,804 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Eno | 56% | 9 |
| #8 | Chaoo99 | 55% | 22 |
| #9 | Xeno | 54% | 13 |
| #10 | ZeNNz^ | 53% | 15 |
| #11 | morgoth | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eno | 5 | 0.0321 |
| #2 | Chaoo99 | 4 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | morgoth | 2 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ONLY SAFE | 91 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #2 | ZeNNz^ | 76 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | Chaoo99 | 74 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | morgoth | 32 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Nqtiv | 29 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xEEf | +1.85 | 91 | 63 |
| #2 | Nqtiv | +1.45 | 59 | 72 |
| #3 | n4migg | +1.06 | 91 | 64 |
| #4 | Eno | +0.91 | 66 | 48 |
| #5 | Suce1Ku | +0.88 | 59 | 64 |





