








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
262 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 208 | 19% |
| Smokes | 280 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 329 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 260 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $53,678 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TL8 | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | FinK | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Dall | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Molt | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | MEGZAN! | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Dall | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Molt | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | MEGZAN! | 60% | 5 |
| #6 | Fluttershy | 60% | 5 |
| #7 | Snotty | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snotty | 2 | 0.0152 |
| #2 | MEGZAN! | 2 | 0.0208 |
| #3 | Dall | 1 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | Molt | 1 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dall | 10 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #2 | MEGZAN! | 10 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #3 | FinK | 10 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #4 | Snotty | 9 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Fluttershy | 5 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FinK | +8.70 | 99 | 53 |
| #2 | MEGZAN! | +4.07 | 68 | 38 |
| #3 | Dall | +3.43 | 51 | 49 |
| #4 | faxoe | +0.32 | 52 | 44 |
| #5 | Molt | -0.16 | 65 | 17 |





