








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 365 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2993 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,723 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7681 | 43% |
| Smokes | 5558 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1837 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 2647 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $814,391 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 318 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AleβΌ | 57% | 63 |
| #2 | CataLyst | 51% | 45 |
| #3 | β πΆπππ β | 50% | 38 |
| #4 | Saya βΌ | 49% | 78 |
| #5 | Chris Tee | 48% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chris Tee | 233 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | β€οΈπ―πππππ | 199 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | CataLyst | 126 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Saya βΌ | 59 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | AleβΌ | 27 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CataLyst | +2.26 | 55 | 64 |
| #2 | β πΆπππ β | +1.24 | 59 | 21 |
| #3 | Saya βΌ | +0.37 | 27 | 26 |
| #4 | Chris Tee | +0.11 | 35 | 50 |
| #5 | eiddE | -0.37 | 40 | 66 |





