








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
537 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 240 | 17% |
| Smokes | 266 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 494 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 390 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $168,923 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Špageťák | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Norwexy | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Lucky5VK | 48% | 66 |
| #4 | NickoNikotin | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | sanja | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Špageťák | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Norwexy | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Lucky5VK | 48% | 66 |
| #4 | NickoNikotin | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | sanja | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucky5VK | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Špageťák | 2 | 0.0204 |
| #3 | NickoNikotin | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Norwexy | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucky5VK | 273 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | NickoNikotin | 68 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Norwexy | 66 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #4 | Špageťák | 34 | 0.35 | 1 min |
| #5 | sanja | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucky5VK | +3.01 | 56 | 64 |
| #2 | Norwexy | +1.07 | 42 | 52 |
| #3 | ☻Vodná pumpa☻ | -1.14 | 35 | 48 |
| #4 | Špageťák | -1.47 | 10 | 46 |
| #5 | NickoNikotin | -1.84 | 27 | 34 |





