








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
697 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 420 | 40% |
| Smokes | 111 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 433 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 80 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $131,292 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Lucky5VK | 43% | 107 |
| #4 | Norwexy | 41% | 27 |
| #5 | sanja | 35% | 31 |
| #6 | Špageťák | 33% | 6 |
| #7 | misko janik | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucky5VK | 422 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | Norwexy | 184 | 0.34 | 3 min |
| #3 | Špageťák | 33 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #4 | ☻Vodná pumpa☻ | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | sanja | 20 | 0.03 | 0 min |





