








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 751 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3631 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,094 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3287 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3636 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2752 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2419 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,249,241 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 497 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beetle | 67% | 115 |
| #2 | Diif | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | 7rneh | 58% | 179 |
| #4 | Rabido_ | 48% | 79 |
| #5 | useless the talentless :3 | 44% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 7rneh | 58% | 179 |
| #4 | Rabido_ | 48% | 79 |
| #5 | useless the talentless :3 | 44% | 71 |
| #6 | levicci | 42% | 33 |
| #7 | snfx-ツ | 38% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7rneh | 27 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Beetle | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | snfx-ツ | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | useless the talentless :3 | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7rneh | 724 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | Beetle | 260 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | snfx-ツ | 250 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #4 | useless the talentless :3 | 111 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Rabido_ | 57 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beetle | +5.16 | 84 | 61 |
| #2 | boskari | +2.36 | 78 | 67 |
| #3 | useless the talentless :3 | +0.51 | 60 | 52 |
| #4 | Rabido_ | -0.59 | 61 | 50 |
| #5 | Diif | -0.68 | 45 | 48 |





