








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
574 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,123 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 355 | 32% |
| Smokes | 291 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 264 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 213 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $93,017 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | DG | 32% | 19 |
| #4 | ib. | 25% | 4 |
| #5 | Bustin | 13% | 8 |
| #6 | Brandt 유 | 13% | 8 |
| #7 | h4tle | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DG | 40 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | Brandt 유 | 25 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | ib. | 16 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #4 | Bustin | 13 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | h4tle | 7 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuck dota2⭕⃤ ⭕⃤ ⭕⃤ | +2.21 | 70 | 54 |
| #2 | Yellow Ranger | +2.18 | 87 | 45 |
| #3 | Brandt 유 | +0.40 | 58 | 72 |
| #4 | ib. | -1.41 | 60 | 58 |
| #5 | DG | -1.67 | 80 | 66 |





