








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
582 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,440 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 558 | 23% |
| Smokes | 708 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 592 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 582 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $162,201 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MLB🔥 | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | 🔥han hedder michael | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | ib. | 51% | 37 |
| #4 | Bustin | 51% | 53 |
| #5 | h4tle | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brandt 유 | 10 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | Bustin | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | MLB🔥 | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | ib. | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | fuck dota2⭕⃤ ⭕⃤ ⭕⃤ | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brandt 유 | 157 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | Bustin | 146 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | ib. | 118 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | MLB🔥 | 86 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | h4tle | 53 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brandt 유 | +2.95 | 61 | 76 |
| #2 | MLB🔥 | +2.24 | 57 | 61 |
| #3 | fuck dota2⭕⃤ ⭕⃤ ⭕⃤ | +2.17 | 67 | 56 |
| #4 | Bustin | +0.28 | 44 | 80 |
| #5 | DG | -0.20 | 73 | 62 |





